* April 2014

April 7th, 2014

Yellow ~ /yel-oh/

As one of the three primary colours, yellow is the most beautiful colour in the world. It reminds one of sunshine, light, warmth and other happy things. You can never have or see too many yellow things (except when being outdoors in the snow).

Yellow is my all-time favourite colour. Has been since I was... well, I can't even remember. It's like panda's: I like all animals, but I LOVE panda's. I like all colours, but I LOVE yellow.

Eggy yellow, lemony yellow, golden yellow, flowery yellow, sunny yellow, all kinds of yellow!

Except the kind of yellow you get when a bruise is starting to heal. Like the massive bruise on my face right now.

I hear you thinking it: "could it be that Sam..." Oh yes, you're right.

I have paid my second visit to the dental surgeon last Wednesday.

Pain! Lots and lots of pain! And a swollen cheek with a big bruise on it :<

You see, the thing is I was supposed to cool my cheek right after the removal. However, my mom also had an appointment in the hospital that day since I figured it'd be very time-effective if we'd both had to go there on the same day. Kill two birds with one stone and all.
Sad point is, my mom's specialist had us waiting for over half an hour before she called us in, precious time in which I should have been cooling my cheek. But hey, what was I to do? Abandon my mother or take a coolbox with me? Exactly... So I just sat it out and by the time we got home I KNEW I was too late already.

And so now I am walking around with a big fat yellow spot on my cheek. It's hideous, really. But, like everything else yellow (except snow, but that speaks for itself), it has a happy meaning: it's healing. My cheek is not nearly as swollen as it was before and the big black bruise is now turning into a sickening yellow.

And even sickening yellow is still a good yellow.

This means that in no time from now, I'll be able to eat normally again! Hurray!


April 17th, 2014

Transformation ~ /trans-fer-mey-shuh n/

"Transformation is not a future event, it is a present activity" - Jillian Michaels

I love Jillian Michaels. Ok, maybe not when I'm actually DOING her work-outs (during which I tend to scream at her a lot), but I love what her exercises do to my body. And I love her simple yet very wise remarks about your body, your health, and your life. Because she's right, transformation isn't something that's just *happened* one day when you wake up. It's a process that you have to work for to make it happen, every day.

So to aid my own transformation I went to the hairdresser's today and got my hair cut. Short. As in: proper short :)

Two things: a) I had really long hair and thanks to my dad's genes it is thick, heavy and strong, and grows as fast as weed in a garden, and thanks to my mom's genes it is naturally wavy. I love my hair, I really do, but it had to go. Well, the main part anyway. I was so fed up with it! Kept finding hairs everywhere in the house, plus it was becoming extremely inconvenient with all the working out I've been doing lately.
b) It was time to pay off my debt and donate it towards charity.

In depth on the debt: When I was 14 I had hair that was a teeny bit longer than it was this morning when I woke up, and I had it cut short. At that time, I don't think it was possible to donate it, but after donating my hair for the first time 5 years ago, I started feeling guilty about not saving that massive amount of hair they cut off me 13 years ago. It was so much, my mum almost cried and told me it would never grow that long again.

So I just had to prove her wrong ;)

My two reasons to grow my hair back this long were my mum and my regret, and today I feel I've paid my dues.

Plus, I thought: new website, new clothes, new hobbies, why not a new haircut to finish it all up with.

Because, I repeat, Jillian is right: transformation doesn't just occur like it's an event, it's all the changes you imply into your life, a little bit every day.

Although seriously, I don't care how much stuff that hair dresser rubbed, kneaded and sprayed into my newly cut cup, I am NOT doing that every day! My lord, the woman went mad! And totally overboard if you ask me. I didn't know one could use that many products in this short of a hairdo... O.o

But it's fine. I let her have her 15 minutes of fun. Yes, that's 15 minutes of merely creating a look after all the cutting was done. Just imagine how long the cutting took...

Ahh well, I'll rinse out all the sh*t tomorrow. I bet I'll look like a really transformed woman when all the grease is gone ;)

Xx, Sam

PS: my hair is going towards Stichting Haarwensen (freely translated: Hair Wishes), an organisation that makes wigs out of real hair for sick children.
April 19th, 2014

Bush Sprint ~ /boo sh sprint/

The bush sprint is a form of torture, very often used in Dutch high school physical education classes, during which members of said PE classes are forced to run a set route, leading both through and alongside bushes and trees, and make it back to the finish within 15-20 minutes in order to pass (out). *Please note that not many high school students have an endurance good enough to do this without nearly dying towards the end. Or the middle. Or after 5 seconds of running.

Yesterday I went running with my new run mate, and we started near our old high school. Since it's now officially Daylight Savings Time and it was still bright out, we decided to do something crazy and we went for the Bush Sprint which we both used to dread enormously. It deserves those capitals by the way, because when I was 14 all the Bush Sprint needed to become a horror movie was some scary music. Seriously.
But anyway, me and my companion decided to do the unthinkable and we (slowly) walked towards the old starting/finishing point of the Bush Sprint. We stalled for a moment, talking about nothing in particular, but then we accepted it was time to start and we synchronised our iPods (we run with an audio running guide since we definitely need some help building up stamina), counted down to 0 and... away we went.

If anyone would have ever told 14 year old me I would one day not only run the Bush Sprint in under 12 minutes, but actually be able to run a far longer distance under 22 minutes, I'd have laughed in their faces.

But still, yesterday, after 13 years of nightmares and awful stories about the Bush Sprint, I did it! I completed it! Well, I did more than that, I ran even further than needed AND I survived. I wasn't even panting afterwards (although not the same can be said about my run mate... but she was brilliant not giving up).

HA! Take that, stupid PE class! Finally, retaliation, after so many years! Muahaha!

Ooh, maybe I can go again tomorrow if the weather is nice :)
April 25th, 2014

Productive ~ /pruh-duhk-tiv/

Productive is an adjective used to describe people that manage to do a lot of work in only a little time. Being productive means you're being badass busy and loving it!

I've been super busy these last few days. Err, I mean I've been very productive. Because even if I don't have a job, I manage to keep myself quite busy with loads of stuff.

First of all, I thought it was time to accept the fact that I have no clue what I want to do with my life. And since this is a pretty bad position to be in at the age of 27, I decided to do something about it. So forgetting all my previous plans (and they were following each other up pretty darn quickly, but each without any success or result), I contacted a job coach and my first meeting is in 2 weeks. We've had a little meet and she seems very nice (apart from the fact that she's already sent me some homework to do before our first official session). 

Second, I have decided to accept another fact, namely the one about not finding out what I want tomorrow. I mean, it's great I now have a job coach and she's going to put me to work to figure out who I am and what I want, but it's not going to happen overnight. So, I've decided to stop all the bad voices in my head that are making me stressed and upset, and simply accept that this takes time. 

That leads me to my next point, which is that I am trying to find a simple and temporary job. The coaching sessions are expensive and at this moment there's only money going out and nothing coming in. That needs to change, even if it's just a little amount and even if it's just for now. Overseas job, I am still longing for you!

Final part of my Grande New Plan is that I want to find a volunteer job and feel like I'm actually doing something good. I know, I know, I am not a bad person and secretly I do a lot of nice stuff for some people (like taking my dad out to see some really lame Dutch movie he really wanted to see, just because nobody else would take him and I like to see him happy). But I want to feel as if I'm actually making a difference towards changing this world for the better.

Phew! No wonder I am so tired all the time, I really am busy and will be even busier when I do find a job and a volunteer spot. 

When I do all that, I hope I can maintain exercising 6 times a week, keeping a blog, learning Icelandic, knitting a scarf, colouring my rune mandala's, playing with my mum's lovebird, and hanging out with my friends.

Sounds like a ton of work? Sounds like I'll be too busy too sleep? Nah, it just sounds like a lot of things a productive woman like myself can do.

I hope.

April 30th, 2014

Rebellious ~ /ri-bel-yuh s/

One is rebellious when still remaining to eat peanut butter, even though it's, apparently,  extremely poisonous and will, for sure, kill you.

According to yesterday's newspaper, lots of products we eat daily (the main topic of the article being peanut butter) contain AGE's, a substance that is very risky and incredibly unhealthy. It should be avoided at ALL costs, according to the woman whose scientific research was being described in my newspaper. Peanut butter, as well as toast, are apparently very high on those AGE thingies, which your body finds hard to break down. It can cause several diseases and will most definitely shorten one's life. Based on these findings, the woman (I forgot her name and am too lazy to go look it back up) concluded we should gain more conscience about what we eat.

The only thing I gained from reading that article was a pounding headache and a very strong desire to go put some bread in the toaster and then plaster it with peanut butter.

I get it, when you eat too much of things, it's unhealthy. Apparently, too much milk can cause cancer, too many chips can cause obesity and even a little bit of chocolate is terribly high on fat. And now peanut butter is the new black sheep, because it raises AGE's in our body and could potentially make us ill on the long run.

Yes, this is another reason to be careful what we eat. But as another researcher mentioned in the article (forgot his name too and am too lazy still), it's ok if you don't eat too much of it, vary in the food you consume and, in general, take good care of your body (e.g. exercise regularly). But the way the female researcher was making it out (or more like, the way in which the paper was reporting on what the lady said), it seemed like everyone eating peanut butter was doomed. Especially the ones putting it on -oh Lord forbid- toast.

But rebellious me wouldn't be rebellious if I wouldn't give in to my cravings, so of course I ate some toast and made sure to put some extra peanut butter on it. What can I say? I'm a sucker for reversed psychology.

I'm probably going to die soon, though. Just so we're clear on that. Imagine that: I won't die of old age, but of too much AGE instead.

But that toast was delicious and I can honestly say I've never enjoyed my peanut butter as much as I did yesterday. Death, bound to be setting in soon, has never tasted so sweet.

Gosh, all that food talk has made me hungry again. We DO have some peanut butter left... AND some bread... Hmm...